6 Surprising Things That Helped Me Embrace My Vitiligo

I’ve lived with vitiligo for nearly three decades. For most of that time, I did not believe it was possible to both love my skin and have this skin condition. As I started connecting with others with vitiligo, I was often in awe of those who had reached this seemingly out-of-reach reality. I was also always left with the same question: How?

How did they do it? What steps did they take? What habits did they form? And most importantly, how can I—and others—replicate that success story to find peace and acceptance despite living with this condition?

As I began asking these questions, I came to a few conclusions. First, the answer isn’t always straightforward, and it certainly isn’t the same for everyone. There typically isn’t a single answer, but rather a series of intentional or accidental actions that snowball over the years to create a mental transformation. Looking back from a place of acceptance today, I can say that I have found the same thing to be true in my own life.

After getting vitiligo at the age of seven, I lost 100% of my skin’s pigment to vitiligo and have since started losing my hair’s pigment. I spent most of that time struggling with the mental, social, and emotional components of living with vitiligo. (That’s a story for another day.) I struggled so much that if you had told the twenty-year-old me that I would embrace my vitiligo one day, I wouldn’t have believed you. And yet here I am today feeling more confident than ever in my skin.

A quick disclaimer: I’ll be the first to admit that being 100% depigmented (as opposed to living with patches on my skin) makes everyday life easier. I no longer have to cope with stares and comments from strangers. My story is my own until I choose to tell it. The privacy and the ability to blend into society feels like a gift after years of not having those luxuries. I also don’t know if I would have reached this same confidence if I had not entirely depigmented—and I might never know.

Today, I’ve reached a place of acceptance with my vitiligo. And I owe it to the younger me to answer some of her questions about “how” in case it helps anyone else in the same shoes. Reflecting on my own journey with vitiligo, I realized I have taken several tangible, intentional steps that have unintentionally—and surprisingly—paved the way for me to embrace my skin and find confidence in myself.

Perhaps this will simply give you perspective into another lived experience with vitiligo. But hopefully, if you are seeking the same feeling of confidence and acceptance with vitiligo, it will inspire you to try new ways of loving yourself—and your skin.

Here are six surprising things that have helped me live with vitiligo: 

#1 Finding others who get me

Growing up with vitiligo, I only met a few people who had the condition, and mostly in passing. That was okay with me—because it helped me ignore my vitiligo. It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I made an effort to reach out to another person with vitiligo. That conversation was life-changing—and a stepping stone to meeting an entire vitiligo community who understood what I was going through. Realizing that I wasn’t alone and that so many parts of my story were shared with people around the world brought healing and confidence in unexpected ways.

Start Here: Check out this list of ways to connect with the vitiligo community and choose one way to connect today. Join a Facebook group, follow an Instagram account, or sign up to join a support group.

#2 Sharing my story

Since I grew up not knowing anyone with vitiligo, I rarely talked about my condition. That all changed when I founded Living Dappled in 2016. A couple of months before the website was made public, I started writing stories about my life with vitiligo. At first, putting these stories into words came with a lot of tears. Sharing my biggest vulnerability with the world felt like the last thing I wanted to do and brought a lot of emotions with it. Today, I still get emotional when I share certain stories—but I’ve also found a significant amount of healing and resolution by sharing my darkest moments with the world, and receiving support and love in response.

Start Here: Grab a pen and notebook, or open a writing app on your computer, and start putting words to your own story with vitiligo. You don’t have to share it, yet.

#3 Celebrating others with vitiligo

As the editor of Living Dappled, I’ve spent the past eight years meeting women with vitiligo around the U.S. for interviews and photo shoots. I’ve been on cobblestone streets at 7 a.m. with a photographer and a woman with vitiligo who was trying to get the courage to step in front of the camera. As I coached and encouraged these women, I often wished they could see their own beauty—and yes, that included their vitiligo. The opportunity to encourage others to love themselves eventually started changing the way I saw my own reflection too. I never expected to find beauty in others first. But it led me to this conclusion: If you can’t love yourself, try loving someone else with vitiligo first. 

Start Here: Go to your favorite social media channel and search “vitiligo.” Find someone who has vitiligo and follow them to offer virtual support and encouragement.

#4 Facing my fears

For many years, vitiligo had a tight grip on my life. It influenced what I wore and what I did—or didn’t do. For seven years, I covered my skin head to toe with self-tanner. I didn’t want anyone to see my skin—the very thought caused me panic and anxiety. I didn’t set out to face this fear, but one day I found myself in a grocery store without makeup. The next week, I went to the gym without makeup and then again the week after that. A few years later, I threw away my tanner bottle and never looked back. Looking back, I credit each of those micro-moments to that final moment of choosing to stop covering my skin. 

Start Here: Write down 3 things you don’t do today because of your vitiligo. Pick one and identify the smallest step you can take towards that fear—and then do it.

#5 Exercising regularly

Moving your body regularly has many health benefits. One of the benefits I wasn’t expecting was the impact on my confidence. And no, it’s not the confidence that comes from being in shape. But rather, it was the mindset shift that occurred when I started taking care of my body. Giving your body exercise and movement is a practice of self-care. The more I took care of my body, I realized that my “care” could also extend to my skin. As I exercised in front of a mirror, I started seeing my reflection differently—instead of seeing my skin, I started seeing my strength and loving my body for what it can do.

Start Here: Get 30 minutes of movement today by going for a walk or stretching. 

#6 Becoming a mom

I said surprising, right? And no, I do not recommend having children to help you cope with your vitiligo. But I was surprised at how much becoming a mom helped me embrace my skin. I could talk about a few ways this changed my life, but I’ll focus on one—and that is the gift of having people in your life who love you unconditionally. My children don’t see my skin. They don’t see my insecurities. They see me as their mom—and that is enough. Who I am is enough. And even further, the way I look has no value here. Don’t we all wish for the world to simply see us for who we are, and not the way we look? And if my children can see me this way, can’t I find the strength to do the same?

Start Here: Practice self-love by standing in front of a mirror and speaking positive affirmations to yourself.