Victoria Marie on How Vitiligo Brought Her the Confidence She’d Always Wanted
It started with one white eyebrow hair. Victoria Marie had recently given birth to her first child, and chalked up the rogue white hair to postpartum hormone fluctuations. She plucked it and forgot about it—until a few months later, when more white hairs appeared. Despite feeling baffled and frustrated, Victoria adjusted and found ways of disguising the white eyebrow hairs with makeup.
Fast forward six months: Victoria and her husband were out to dinner and taking a selfie together to memorialize the moment. When she saw their faces on the phone screen, something looked “off” about her forehead, and she thought her foundation must be smudged or flaking. She rubbed the spot on her forehead and wondered why smoothing out the makeup wasn’t fixing it.
Later, in her own bathroom mirror with makeup washed off, Victoria could see that she had lost some pigment on her forehead. Still later, after an initial misdiagnosis of tinea versicolor, she finally learned that she had segmental vitiligo—a type of vitiligo that only appears on one side of the body.
When the depigmentation began affecting her eyelashes too, Victoria broke down.
“I felt very defeated mentally and physically,” said Victoria, who reached a low point once the vitiligo affected her eyelashes too. “I grew up with acne and didn’t have a lot of confidence in how I looked. I was constantly comparing myself to others. So when I got vitiligo, I was already working through trying to accept myself.”
The thought of vitiligo continuing to spread and uproot each fragile bit of self-confidence she had worked so hard to gain was devastating. She asked herself, “How am I gonna get through this and find my confidence again?”
The surprise twist in this story? “Ironically enough, I feel like developing vitiligo is what helped me find that confidence that I never had before,” said Victoria. Developing vitiligo connected her to a community and a platform she didn’t have before, and today she says she’s more confident than ever.
That confidence didn’t come without struggle. In the early days after her diagnosis, Victoria did not feel the support she hoped for from her mom and other family members. While she wanted to get to a place of “accepting me for me,” as she put it, competing voices from others would intrude with the message, “‘I think you should go to a doctor and try to get it fixed.’”
Through her journey with vitiligo and depression, Victoria has found the inner strength to love herself through life’s ups and downs. She credits her faith and her family’s support with helping her keep going through dark times, and now she shares her story of self-love and perseverance with over 100,000 social media followers through her Instagram, TikTok and YouTube channels.
With a wry sense of humor and down-to-earth relatability, Victoria creates content that normalizes feeling vulnerable or insecure about your appearance—but reminds viewers that they too, can learn to “accept me for me,” as Victoria has. On her own channels and as a founding member of Living Dappled’s Dappled Darlings Collective, Victoria’s message of self-love reaches thousands around the world. She recognizes that she wouldn’t be where she is now without the virtual vitiligo community, too.
“Instagram has really helped me a lot,” shared Victoria. “I went on a binge search for people with vitiligo that I could follow and talk to, and listen to their stories, and share my story, and just connect with them. And finding that community has really helped me accept my vitiligo.”
Watch our full Instagram live interview with Victoria and catch some excerpts of our conversation below.
Watch the Instagram Live Replay
Meet the members of the Dappled Darlings Collective in this six-part Instagram Lives series hosted by Erika Page, Founder and CEO of Living Dappled. From Kentucky and based in Florida, Victoria first got segmental vitiligo at the age of 25, with the vitiligo appearing only on one side of her face, most notably marking her eyelashes and eyebrow. At first, she hid her vitiligo with hats and makeup, but the more she shared her vitiligo publicly, the more she found the courage to overcome the fear of what others were thinking about her. Today she creates content on Instagram to help raise awareness for the condition and the mental and emotional challenges that can come with it.
Watch Now: Victoria Marie on Winning the Mental Battle with Vitiligo
Name: Victoria Marie
Age: Early 30s
Location: Central Florida
Years with vitiligo: 9
*The following script has been edited.*
Erika Page: I always like to start with: How did you find Living Dappled and this community?
Victoria Marie: I found Living Dappled on Instagram. I think it was around 2017 when I was looking for different resources on social media that were more positive. Back then, there wasn’t much information and it wasn’t really positive information either, so I was constantly on Instagram searching for other people. And the search [feature] back then was not all that great. But I found you guys, which led me to your guys’ blog, and it’s just been a staple for me ever since.
EP: I love that. So 2017—we launched in 2016—I think you were one of our OG community members. And you’re right, vitiligo has come such a long way over the past eight years that Living Dappled has been a brand. And I felt like, similar to you, there was an opportunity for people to connect on a deeper level about what it’s like to live with vitiligo and tell an uplifting, positive story about the very courageous women living with this condition—which is why we’re here today. And you are definitely one of those. So thank you for sharing that.
Okay, we are going to talk about your story with vitiligo because that’s what we’re here to do, but let’s start with who you are today as a person. Tell us about Victoria, where you live, what your life is like—give us the scoop.
VM: So my family and I currently live in Florida. We moved this past fall and we were in Kentucky previously. We were there for 20-plus years and were ready for a change. I’m a mom to three little kids. I also have our niece; I’m her guardian, so we have four kids in the house. I’m married and have been married for ten years. I have two cats.
EP: You have a house full.
VM: Yeah. It’s chaotic, but it’s also really fun. I’m on social media full-time. I quit my job last year to see where this takes me and it’s been amazing so far. Other than that, it’s all about kids sports and schools—just being a mom. That’s it.
EP: Mom life and influencer life. I love it. That’s a great combination. And I love that you are doing this full-time because the world needs more Victoria content in their social media feeds. I know I do. So I love that for you.
Let’s talk about your vitiligo story. I shared with everyone a little bit about how you got vitiligo at 25, but tell us about what that experience was like for you. What was that diagnosis like, what were your first reactions and feelings? Walk us through that moment or that period of time for you.
VM: So I remember when my vitiligo first started to develop. I didn’t know it was vitiligo. I had just had my first son—I thought I was going gray early. I found one little white hair in my eyebrow and I just plucked it, not thinking about it. I remember making a joke to my husband and his mom about it. And then a couple of months later, a few more sprouted out and it just kept going. I was like, I don’t think this is age-related, especially since I’m only 25, this doesn’t seem right. And I remember during that period, it was just my eyebrow and I was very discouraged because I was like, “I don’t know what’s going on,” and now, on top of that, I had to figure out how to hide it, because I can’t keep plucking every single hair or I’m not going to have an eyebrow left.
Then eventually, I think six months later, it spread onto my forehead. I remember I was out eating, and my husband and I were trying to take a picture and I was like, “Oh, no, my foundation is really bad right now.” And I’m rubbing my forehead and thinking, “Why is this not fixing it?” Later that night when I get home and wash my face, I notice that I had lost some pigment [in the middle of my forehead].
Even then, still trying to do research, I couldn’t figure out what it was. So I went to see a dermatologist at the end of 2016 and she immediately knew what it was. She did the black light test. I think it was the Wood lamp. She said her sister had vitiligo, so she was very familiar with it. And she was one of the first people to tell me, “Don’t seek treatment.” She gave me a few different support groups to join on Facebook. And then by that time, my eyelashes started changing and then I just had a complete meltdown because I didn’t know how much of me was going to change.
EP: Yeah, that’s a lot. Walk us through what that moment felt like. What were your thoughts? What were you feeling? What was that like?
VM: I don’t think I would ever forget that moment. I was in the bathroom washing my face. And then, I saw a little white hair on my eyelash and I just completely broke down crying. My husband came to the bathroom to see if I was okay. I felt very defeated at that moment because I was like, “What am I gonna do with white eyelashes?” It was hard enough trying to cover the eyebrow, but now I have white eyelashes, like “How much more of this is gonna spread?”
I was questioning everything. I felt very defeated mentally and physically, because I was already trying to work through learning to accept myself. Even before vitiligo, I struggled mentally. I did deal with acne and didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself and how I look. So I was constantly wearing [makeup]. Every time I would go out, I would make sure I put on makeup.
I did have a lot of struggles with my self-confidence. And then vitiligo hit and it was downhill from there. Getting vitiligo on my eye lash made me feel even more defeated. “How am I gonna get through this and find my confidence again?” And ironically enough, I feel like developing vitiligo is what helped me find the confidence that I never had before.
EP: Wow. I love that. An unexpected plot twist for you. I can relate to so much of that. I think what’s powerful about what you shared, and what people who don’t live with vitiligo might not understand, is that it’s not just the first time that vitiligo appears that you kind of have to process everything—it’s a continuous cycle because every time you lose new pigment, you have to go through that same shock, surprise, sadness, acceptance. You really have to move through that so many times.
And the other thing that is hard about the mental and emotional burden of living with vitiligo is the lack of control and the lack of knowing. You don’t know what’s coming next. Is this going to spread everywhere? Is it only going to stay on a little part of your body? Not knowing that—that’s really hard. So I definitely feel all of that with you.
VM: Yeah, people don’t realize—it is a physical struggle, but it is a big mental struggle for a lot of people too.
EP: We are going to wrap it up with one more question. This is actually the question I always love to end with. What is your advice for people who are listening today? For the person who’s listening today who is in that place where they are struggling mentally; they want to win this mental battle with vitiligo, but they are on these long dark roads and they might not have hope today—what would you tell them?
VM: I would say: talk about it. Don’t be afraid or hold your feelings in. If you have someone that you can talk to, a safe person that you feel comfortable with, I would do that. I think talking through it with my husband has really helped me. And then just talking through it with the people around me. My mom now is very loving and accepting of it. She sees how much it has helped me. And she does see the content and everything that I get to do with helping other people too.
And then finding your community. Instagram has helped me a lot. I went on a binge search for people with vitiligo that I could follow and talk to, and listen to their stories, and share my story, and just connect with them. And finding that community has really helped me accept my vitiligo.
I don’t know if any of you are religious, but seeking God through all of this has helped me a lot too. In the beginning, I used to constantly question, “Why are we going [through this]? God, I’m trying really hard to love myself and accept myself and now this is happening.” And I feel like it was God’s way of showing me that you don’t need all of that to be beautiful—because what you have inside is what truly matters. I feel like he had to show me, “You are beautiful, you don’t need the makeup, you don’t need the self-acceptance from other people to understand that you are beautiful.”
